Keeping You Close
by blueroseulan
Summary: Sequel to The 'Threads That Bind Us'. Now, It's Saya's turn to contemplate about her relationship with her loyal chevalier. Sweet and Waffy. Please read and review.


2007- June 10

Fanfiction by blueroseulan

Blood +

Saya's POV

Orange strands of gentle sunlight softly stream through the room as the sun slowly ascends to the blueing sky. From the other rooms I could still hear Kai and Lewis' snoring as the others too slept in quiet.

Groggily, I try to blink the last vestiges of sleep from my eyes, my whole body protesting with even just the notion of getting up. My head is resting on something warm and strong and I realize why waking up is looking out to be such a daunting task.

I was lying on the muscular expanse of your chest, my ear pressed gently on your heart as I hear its soft beating. Your arm I feel is wrapped securely around my bare waist; no doubt keeping me connected to you while your good hand is lightly touching my arm.

_Haji…_

I sigh. I have never been this close with another being in my life. The thought of just sharing such a deep and intimate relationship with you was something that I had wished for long ago even as I tried to shun the very idea of it in the dark recesses of my mind. And yet somehow in the long course of time, fate itself had finally decided that enough was my pretence of just seeing you as my noble chevalier. And now…

My burgundy coloured irises collide against your grey blue ones. You've still not learned how to sleep haven't you? You had told me once that sleep and eat have ceased its purpose in your existence and that you have accustomed to live without nourishment or rest. _And yet you still lay with me every night Haji…_I have to admit, at times I feel guilty knowing that as I sleep, you have noting else to do other than stare at dark oblivion, with all kinds of thoughts running in your mind.

"Saya..."

Your deep quiet voice startles me in my thoughts and I feel a hot blush creeping in my cheeks as I have been caught once again thinking about you. "G-Good morning Haji…" I reply as I lift my head from your chest and place a soft kiss upon your lips. I then nestle my head on the crook of your shoulder and bury my face in the fall of your jet black hair. "Did you sleep well Saya?" I hear you ask in that gentle tone of yours that I have come to love and yearn for.

I nod in reply, simply content in just watching you. Beautiful. It had never ceased to amaze me how your flawless face had remained untouched and unchanged even it the course of centuries. Words may not aptly describe your incredibly handsome form; the slanting angular way of your jaw, your black wavy locks tied by a blue ribbon in daytime and most especially, your eyes, the colour of a cloudless sky waiting for rain to descend, or the colour of the angry sea upon a storm. Those greyish blue eyes that carry no emotion at all save for a few chance encounters…

I tighten my arms around your neck, silently thanking whichever god was responsible for sending you in my way. Truly, in more ways than one, you have protected me. You have saved me not only from physical monsters that set to plague me but also from my mental and emotional monsters as well, seeking to devour my thoughts with revenge, anger and wretchedness. Without you, I would have probably succumbed to the clawing darkness of my past, I would have probably turned into a monster as well, perhaps even worst than Diva and destroy everything that I have come to love. How many times have you rescued me? I could never fathom. How many times more will you have to risk your life for my sake? I'd rather not know. I am terrified to even think that you may as well die while protecting me.

_If you died…if you…I…_

"Saya…is something wrong?"

So deep in my thoughts I was that I never noticed the tears forming in my eyes as I contemplated on having to survive without you. _It just isn't possible… You said you'd follow me shortly after my death…it works the same way for me too…_ I suck in a deep breath as I struggle to take hold of my emotions. No one's going to die just yet, I say to myself in reassurance. _You're here…and for now, in this small room, when no one is around to read our minds and calculate our every move, your mere presence… is enough for me._

A small smile lights my lips as I flip myself so that I am now above you, our face mere centimetres away. Softly, I skim my nimble fingers around your face, as if trying to decipher whether you're real or just a figment of my imagination. My breath catches as I feel you lean to my touch, your eyes fluttering to a gentle close as your arm braces itself on my waist.

Love.

It is a feeling so powerful, so overcoming that I never thought I'd be able to comprehend it fully; _I still haven't. _I finish at the back of my mind. It's frightening and staggering to know such a strong and potent emotion could ever exist that before, I found myself afraid to allow myself to fully feel it. Cynical I was not, but wary I was. Emotions are a tricky subject to deal on. I had seen many people change as they succumb to the powerful feelings of anger, hate, pride and jealousy. And what comes after these human minds have climbed their way up in the highest flight of emotions? They come crashing down in a sickly torrent that renders them incapable of feeling nothing else but numbness. If such is to be expected from these emotions, can love be of any difference?

_Of course…_

You always tell me, in your own quiet ways, that I have taught you so many things, have shown you so many things no one had really shown you and that you have me to thank all these things for. _I never really got to tell you Haji, but you've made me realize something important as well… You've shown me that love is not something to be afraid of…rather it is something we must accept. _My worries and fears of turning into something akin to a monster when I loved too much were really unfounded. I have to admit it is a feeling I myself cannot control, but neither do I have any desire to. _It won't make me to be a monster because you're here Haji… And that you'll protect me and shield me from all these thoughts…_

You shift suddenly, for a moment, worry crossing your gaze. I am never this silent as I am now and this has caused you to worry. I gently hear you murmur my name aloud and I just smile in assurance. "I'm fine…I love you Haji.." I whisper softly as I lean my forehead against yours, our noses touching. Happiness is something I feel blooming in my chest whenever I say those three words. It feels good to finally be able to say it aloud, to finally be able to allow myself to call you mine. Although being my chevalier exclusively tied you to me, there is a difference when I know you stay beside me not just because of your duty, but also of your feelings towards me.

I feel your hands glide through the expanse of my body and I shudder. Your mere touch is reminder enough for me of how close we've grown for the last couple of weeks. Truly, you are a man who thinks of my needs before yours. Our love making has been wonderful, perfect in my eyes and more than earth shattering. It has been more than I had ever dreamed of. Your touches, your caresses, each of them bringing out several unfathomable sensations and emotions from the very core of my being are astonishingly beautiful. When words to express our feelings fail us, our actions are enough to show how much we really feel about each other. It is a union that has exceeded its physical echelon for in my mind it also shows how our emotions and thoughts have mated as one.

As I lock gazes with you, my fingers tangling itself on the smooth of your hair I feel something tighten in me. This is the man, the man who has willingly given up everything for me, who has protected me from all sorts of danger fate can conjure, and who has been with me through centuries, waiting for me, watching over me as I sleep, patiently fulfilling his promise of never leaving me… this is man that I have come to love, cherish and protect as well. _You need not always protect me Haji…Sometimes; you have to let me protect you too…_

I suddenly wince when your fingers, who have busied themselves by gently massaging my sore muscles from training, collide against a particularly aching knotted tendon just below my nape. For a moment fear splays in your eyes. Probably fear that has stemmed from the very thought of hurting me but understanding soon settles in your gaze as you guide me back to the bed, making me lie on my stomach.

"Haji….?"

Your face emotionless as ever still looks striking with the gentle touches of the sun; and as you sst beside me, the blanket pooling to your waist I try to swallow the lump that has formed in my throat with just the sight of your well chiselled chest. "You've been training too hard Saya." You simple state, your fingers once again working their magic across the small of my back, untying each knotted muscle. I could only moan in reply as I feel your nimble digits skilfully knead. "You shouldn't push yourself too much." Your voice still carried its even tone and yet in your eyes I could see a flicker of fear? Worry? _It almost seems as you're berating me Haji…_ I finish at the back of my mind although I keep my thoughts to myself.

"I train so I could protect the people I love Haji."

My answer was simple but the underlining meaning it held was complex in diversity.

You stop your ministrations suddenly and I turn to face you. "When you're strong enough, you would not need me anymore. A chevalier is useless when his master has surpassed his own skill." Was it my imagination playing tricks on me or was sadness really evident in the grey of your eyes?

My hands find their way to either side of your cheeks as I draw you closer to me. "I'm not saying I'm training hard so that you can leave me on my own Haji…I train so that I can help you more when we fight side by side, in that way you wont have to risk your life for me every time. I don't want you to get hurt Haji. What made you say that I won't need you anymore?" I ask as an after thought.

This time you lower your gaze, unable to meet mine. "I had thought that you wouldn't want me—"

I stop your words in mid sentence, gently pressing a finger against your lips. "I would never want you to leave me Haji…never. As much as I feel guilty knowing that you risk your life for me, I can't bear the thought of fighting and living alone." Then I add softly, "It makes me so happy to have you with me Haji." With these words, my eyes flutter to a close as I feel your lips descend against mine.

"_Aishiterru Saya…"_ you murmur as I feel your hands wander everywhere in my body. Once again I feel passion clouding my senses as I struggle to keep to my thoughts. "Promise me…" I manage to whisper between each breathy moans, "Promise me you'll always stay with me Haji…that you'll wait for me no matter what happens…that you will…never…leave me alone… promise me…Haji…." As your fingers dangerously paint their way down to each of my soft curves and touch my very being, all rational thoughts leave my mind as I give in to my own desires of enjoying your touch.

"_If that is your wish…"_

As the flames of our passion grew and receded to gentle embers, I feel you collapse beside me, your body tired and spent with our tryst. I sigh in contentment as you spoon me to your side and tenderly press the crown of my head in the crook of your neck. We could both hear the gentle stirrings of activity below us; David probably must have woken up and I could even hear Lewis cooking in the kitchen. _"So soon…not yet…"_ I whisper softly, not wanting to end my special intimate moment with you. And you seem to share my sentiments too for instead of making a move to get up; you tighten your hold on me.

"Sleep…" I hear you murmur as I feel exhaustion claiming me again. "Rest Saya…I'm here." Your tender tone and reassuring words are the last thoughts in my mind as I succumb to the gentle cradles of sleep. _You're right…You're with me…everything's going to be fine now…we're finally together Haji…and that for me is the best of all._

_OWARI_


End file.
